Day and night

When I get up in the morning, my first thought is about you. Engrossed in your thoughts I somehow persuade myself to go to work. After finishing the usual morning stuff and 40 min. later, I get out of my apartment hoping to see you today.

To reach my work place I need to catch a bus. Rushing for the bus, I hope to discover you on board. Maybe, sitting on a corner seat. I know you are sometimes found on buses. But I could never find you there. Being an optimist, I board the crowded bus. It takes 10 min. of waiting and equal min. of traveling to reach my intended stop.

Before I enter my lab and log on to my work station, I stop for a quick toast and tea in the new Broadway canteen. The aunty who makes toasts there now knows me pretty well. I can sense the acknowledgment in her friendly smile. But I still hope to see a glimpse of yours. It takes me around 15 min. to finish my breakfast. Sitting in one of the corner seat, I keep staring the entry door. You never come. You almost never come.

You are aware of my longing for you, but you don’t like the tea. I know that you know and you know that I know.

When I reach my lab, I anticipate seeing you there too. Your presence is impossible. Both of us are fully conscious of this fact. I try to distance my self from your idea during my working hours, hoping that the day has just begun and we will have ample opportunity to stumble upon each other.

Tick tick tick…150 min. later

We are nearing the lunch time, and still no visit from you.

I go out for lunch with my friends. They know how much I need you. They banter around me by taking your name every now and then. They tempt me. I get tempted. Although I show my fake anger with a dry smile and angry looking eyes, which actually strengthens their belief that I enjoy all this. They are right. They are always right.

We take almost 45 min. to stuff ourselves with the pseudo Indian food. Once we are done, we return to our respective labs. My yearning for you is the strongest after lunch period. Those lonely 2 to 3 hours are unbearable. But I somehow control myself and get engrossed in my work.

Evening tea too companies a bunch of friend. We tend to discuss issues pertaining to research, politics, sports, and everything that comes under the roof of this 13 billions years old universe. Even though the discussion is so entertaining and enriching, I still look at the canteen door, absorbed in your thoughts. Hoping to see you making an entry into my eyes. But I am unsuccessful again. You never come.

I go back to my lab, and try to work using my last reserve of positive energy of the day, which last for another one and a half hour. Back of my mind still has you.

Now the night has come, and we are ready for our last meal of the day. I haven’t seen you the whole day. This is my last hope. We choose a canteen based on the majority of vote and dominance of the force. But, my criterion is you. I want to go to the canteen where I can find you. I am defeated again.

The time after dinner till mid night is something I keep for my past undone work, chatting with friends, poetry and blogging. These are the 2 hours I miss you the least. You should not get offended because my least is more than the most of the most.

Now its almost mid night. I am ready to go back to my dwelling. On my way I am listening to recently synchronized songs on my ipod nano and still thinking about you. It takes me 30 min. to reach my block, take the lift, open the door, bath, and change to my bedtime outfit. Now I am almost on my bed and you still are to be seen no where near. I read a page or two of ‘Atlas Shrugged’ which I am trying to finish for the last 3 months. It’s a big book by the way.

Then suddenly you come, and be there for the rest of the night. It’s only you and me under the ceiling of my room which is conditioned for a temperature of 25 degree Celsius. We spend almost 7 hours together. You leave just at the moment I wake up, making me crave for you again…Again for the whole day.

The defining moment

There is no easier way to make fun of yourself than to post something foolish in your blog. That is what I am going to do by posting this piece which I wrote couple of years back, and which happened even earlier.

The memory of this particular event is still fresh in my mind. The year was 1993. I was in seventh standard.

Back then I was this happy-go-lucky lad who would delay anything (including studies for exams) to the last minute. Although I wouldn’t claim I have changed my attitude much, but times were different then. I, usually, used to study only the last day for any exams. I know it’s not the kind of secret you would want to share with people at this stage of your life. People normally do this when they become successful, which by any standard I am not.

Anyway, I was under the impression that the physics exam was on the day next to the actual day (I realized that later), so I didn’t study anything, having a strong confidence in my night-out-before-examination strategy. I only knew the things that had been taught in the classroom, as I was a good listener even then...Just kidding.

On the examination morning, a certain twist of fate happened (that has forced me to believe in destiny sometime) and I saw some students going to the school (it helped to live near the school). It was enough to put me in doubt. I rechecked my time table and realized the blunder I have made in exam dates. I got frightened thinking I will definitely get failed. Only those who have experienced something similar can understand how I must have felt. However, I recollected myself, told about this to my parents ...they had a lot of faith in me that’s why they never checked my exam schedule…that was end of it... and studied whatever I could in those 30 min. or so, and gave the exam.

My father on his own level tried to persuade my physics teacher through his friend (who was friends to my physics teacher), knowing very well that it is very important for me to pass this exam if he wants to keep my morale high. He also knew that I wasn’t a bad student, but a little careless. I didn’t know what happened behind the curtains, but I managed to clear that exam (on my own as told by my physics teacher later) albeit with minimum passing marks.

But, I was very happy and relieved, and thanked that hidden power who got me up early in the morning and forced to go to my house’s rooftop and stare at the road going towards my school, and made me see students (in uniform) to put me in doubt about the exam date. The probability of this sequence of actions happening in my life is zero. Mathematically, I should have missed my physics exam.

In retrospect when I think about this incident I feel foolish, but also a tad bit of proud, having cleared “the physics exam” with only 30 min. of study. That was then. Later, when I really got to know studies, physics became fun.

Whenever I think about this incident, I get a feeling that this may well be the defining moment of my life. If I would have flunked that exam, I wouldn't be doing any research.

Alas! That didn't happen.

An ode to father

One relationship that is
Devoid of much attention
Is a complex relationship
Between father and son

Half of our creator
As we know is our father
But he doesn’t get the same glory
As his counterpart-the mother

Mother can exhibit openly
Their affection and love
But father has to maintain
His image of being tough

His love in no way
Is lesser or conditional
It’s just that his stature
Is conceived a bit traditional

He provides a safety net
For us to breed and prosper
He is the first one to understand
When our ideas are good or improper

He endows us with the whole river
When it’s just a glass of water we need
He is the first one to say an indifferent no
When it’s one of those life’s lesson he wants to teach

He may always lose
The ranking game with his complement
But let’s agree on one thing
He is best of all the elements

Still I love my school

The poem is written in remembrance of my school. It has been almost 10 years of my parting, but I still feel nostalgic thinking about the fun we used to have throughout the school life. This one is for you my lovely school…

Nothing has changed

Nothing is lost
Everything is the same

As I would have thought

Bell still rings

Chapel still sings
Teacher still shouts

Students still have doubts

Buildings with the yellow-brown stripes

Are still found
Ever scolding gardener

Is still around

There is still that physics examination

Students most fear
There is still that playground

Students find most dear

Eating food before interval

Is still an unwritten pact
“Teacher, can I come in”

Is still considered inapt

Still there is punishment

For homework not done
Still we cherish

When teacher says well-done

The sweetest of sound

Is still the last period bell
Even after ten years

My heart prays for my school doing well