Mood swings

My heart is sad because of you
My eyes are wet because of you
My nights are sleepless because of you
My dreams are lifeless because of you
Ah...
My heart learnt sadness
Because of the happiness in you
My eyes went wet
Because of the delight in you
I had sleepless nights
But I saw the moonlight
My dreams went dead
But I experienced the fantasy flight
Still...
Why don’t you let me live or die?
Why don’t you let me laugh or cry?
Why don’t you let me feel or numb?
Why don’t you let me stand or plunge?
Sigh...
I learnt to live though I want to die
I learnt to laugh though I want to cry
I felt numb, but I could sense
I fell, but I stood once

A mother

What is MEMS ?

For all those who are wondering about what we do and why we do...this is an interesting article to start with:

http://www.semiconductor.net/article/CA6571814.html?nid=3572

My hands at photography

Crazy five

Wall painting

THE TREE

Jurassic Park

Sand Man

Vineet's love

This one is from Vineet, a researcher, blogger and friend. He is the same guy who motivated me to start a blog. This is what he has to say on 'love'. I guess his maiden venture to poetry.

Love grows with distance,
full blown on return.
Love surges with resistance,
explodes when set free.
To pain, when separated, is Love
To pain, till united, is True Love
Love, complex as it may be,
people yearn for a bit of it, even the Gods.
Love given, is the virtue of the giver.
Love received, is the greatest of all gifts.
Love speaks, not what you love to hear,
instead, what you need to hear.
The world will reach its zenith,
Because Love gets the best in you.
Love is blind to the ills of your nature,
Because it sees only the best of you,
Like the starving dog watching his master's home.
To lend a hand, to the least among you,
is nothing, but Love.
To see heaven in a wild flower, sang the bard,
Yes, that is Love.

Have a dream

Trying to chase someone’s dream
Devours most of our time
It looks futile when it’s not even sure
What is real and what is mime

For time may never come back,
At least in our acknowledged dimensions
But dreams if not realized returns
Like nightmares in haunted mansions

A dream’s purpose loses its value
If it not pursued by the original conception
It is like a borrowed success
Which is the biggest of deception

A true dream is different from the dream
That is not dreamt by the dreamer
It’s like a destination reached
By a different traveler

An idea of dream may not be
Enough to claim a fortune infinite
But an idea of dream is enough
To take pleasure in tiring days and sleepless nights

So, I plead to have a dream of yours
When it may be the most futile thought
Because a dreamy eyes and not its sight
Creates the difference between paradise and paradise lost

I

(Pleasure)
I enjoy the party only if it’s few
And otherwise too
I drink the coffee only if it’s brew
And otherwise too

(Beauty)
I see the sky only if it’s blue
And otherwise too
I feel the drops only if it’s dew
And otherwise too

(Philosophy)
I like the appreciation only if it’s true
And otherwise too
I imagine the dreams only to pursue
And otherwise too

(Emotion)
I miss my friends after they adieu
And otherwise too
I enjoy the company only if it’s you
And nobody new

A god in my own universe

It is 1:43 am and I am still awake
It’s completely dark
Except for the light coming from my laptop screen

Thinking of ideas to write poetry
I imagine my ceiling as the sky
And the light coming from laptop screen
As my square shaped moon

My room itself as the universe

I try hard to see other objects in my imagined space
I can see my nokia handphone lying
On the stool as my artificial satellite
Connecting me to otherwise isolated space

Along with it are my glasses
Acting as Mars
Giving me a perspective of the horizon
And the air conditioner as Venus
Providing me fresh breath of air

I can also see the piles of novels
I bought from India
They represent the surrounding planets
First among the lot is “five point someone” which is still unread
It is Pluto which has lost it status of being planet
On the top is thick “Atlas Shrugged” which I am currently reading
Is my Earth

The table clock is shining
Because of fluorescence numbers engraved
Showing me the status of time
It is my sun

I am also playing some old songs
For inspiration
Music acts as the background radiation
Coming from some distant galaxy
Giving me a hint of friendly neighbor

A big black colored table is holding all my paraphernalia
It is my black hole

And then there is a creator too
The one who is imagining all the creation
And putting it into words
It is me
A god in my own universe

Day and night

When I get up in the morning, my first thought is about you. Engrossed in your thoughts I somehow persuade myself to go to work. After finishing the usual morning stuff and 40 min. later, I get out of my apartment hoping to see you today.

To reach my work place I need to catch a bus. Rushing for the bus, I hope to discover you on board. Maybe, sitting on a corner seat. I know you are sometimes found on buses. But I could never find you there. Being an optimist, I board the crowded bus. It takes 10 min. of waiting and equal min. of traveling to reach my intended stop.

Before I enter my lab and log on to my work station, I stop for a quick toast and tea in the new Broadway canteen. The aunty who makes toasts there now knows me pretty well. I can sense the acknowledgment in her friendly smile. But I still hope to see a glimpse of yours. It takes me around 15 min. to finish my breakfast. Sitting in one of the corner seat, I keep staring the entry door. You never come. You almost never come.

You are aware of my longing for you, but you don’t like the tea. I know that you know and you know that I know.

When I reach my lab, I anticipate seeing you there too. Your presence is impossible. Both of us are fully conscious of this fact. I try to distance my self from your idea during my working hours, hoping that the day has just begun and we will have ample opportunity to stumble upon each other.

Tick tick tick…150 min. later

We are nearing the lunch time, and still no visit from you.

I go out for lunch with my friends. They know how much I need you. They banter around me by taking your name every now and then. They tempt me. I get tempted. Although I show my fake anger with a dry smile and angry looking eyes, which actually strengthens their belief that I enjoy all this. They are right. They are always right.

We take almost 45 min. to stuff ourselves with the pseudo Indian food. Once we are done, we return to our respective labs. My yearning for you is the strongest after lunch period. Those lonely 2 to 3 hours are unbearable. But I somehow control myself and get engrossed in my work.

Evening tea too companies a bunch of friend. We tend to discuss issues pertaining to research, politics, sports, and everything that comes under the roof of this 13 billions years old universe. Even though the discussion is so entertaining and enriching, I still look at the canteen door, absorbed in your thoughts. Hoping to see you making an entry into my eyes. But I am unsuccessful again. You never come.

I go back to my lab, and try to work using my last reserve of positive energy of the day, which last for another one and a half hour. Back of my mind still has you.

Now the night has come, and we are ready for our last meal of the day. I haven’t seen you the whole day. This is my last hope. We choose a canteen based on the majority of vote and dominance of the force. But, my criterion is you. I want to go to the canteen where I can find you. I am defeated again.

The time after dinner till mid night is something I keep for my past undone work, chatting with friends, poetry and blogging. These are the 2 hours I miss you the least. You should not get offended because my least is more than the most of the most.

Now its almost mid night. I am ready to go back to my dwelling. On my way I am listening to recently synchronized songs on my ipod nano and still thinking about you. It takes me 30 min. to reach my block, take the lift, open the door, bath, and change to my bedtime outfit. Now I am almost on my bed and you still are to be seen no where near. I read a page or two of ‘Atlas Shrugged’ which I am trying to finish for the last 3 months. It’s a big book by the way.

Then suddenly you come, and be there for the rest of the night. It’s only you and me under the ceiling of my room which is conditioned for a temperature of 25 degree Celsius. We spend almost 7 hours together. You leave just at the moment I wake up, making me crave for you again…Again for the whole day.

Simile

The smile that never came to lips
Is like the candle that never got lit

The desire that never got fulfilled
Is like the child that never felt thrilled

The innocence that got defiled
Is like the bride that never walked the aisle

The effort that never saw success
Is like the traveler that never found his address

The appetite that has never been fed
Is like the poem that has never been read

Habits...

Another one from Ankur Khare

Robin Sharma (of the monk who sold his Ferrari fame), wrote “if you follow a thing/ habit for 21 days, it becomes a necessity and you need another 21 days of determination to get out of that necessity” . Not that I am a big fan of Robin Sharma or I have followed the tips he gave, but yes it reminded me of some Miss Lucy of DDLJ...who said… “Aadatein agar jaldi badli na jaayein to wo jarooratein ban jaati hai...”

Well, I went to a hospital yesterday and saw something strange. A person lying on the bed and staring on the blank TV screen and shouting in between something incomprehensible, then again keeping quiet. The doctor told me this abnormality will continue up to 11 pm or even till 12 pm. He will get out of it soon. Don’t worry. We have about 50 similar patients sitting here and doing this. Some of them even not eating anything in dinner and some continuously asking popcorns and pepsi. I asked what the disorder is. He told me it’s “Life after IPL”.

I had a good laugh and came back from the place. I have this married friend who has a 2 yr old kid with an ability to refresh your mind. I went to his place for a tea and found the couple fighting. The fight was about who will make the dinner tonight. I was surprised as they had a pakka arrangement for alternate day of sacrifice, each helping other with dishes and cutting onions and vegetables. What’s the fight now?

It seems they had gone into that betting culture that with each supporting a different team and whoever wins the bet will enjoy the next day dinner without anything to do. NO Match No Bet ...dare I say No Dinner. They seem to have forgotten the earlier set up. May be another 21 days. Or they need to find another topic of betting. Like who will read the news on aajtak today Deepak or Vinod. What will be the colour of the sari of Tulsi...Blue or Green...?

People seem to have caught these diseases. They have left the old saas bahu sickness and picked up these. I thought its only families which are getting affected. So I went to a bachelor friend of mine. He was too depressed to even talk. I for a moment thought that he is the most affected. He is missing the matches and the drama. He said “Hell with IPL , its over and now I am free ...for full duration I watched it and enjoyed , but now I have forgotten it and want to go back to my normal life and meet my girl , but she is in no mood..” . Well, I wanted to tell him that it’s a revenge she is taking on you for not taking her out for a month but decided against it and kept quiet.

Nothing seems to have replaced IPL as of now. Families are looking for some old serials but it just doesn’t seem to fit in. Pets got a good game of jumping on every boundary or six , don’t feel like jumping on close ups of 'Mihir' or 'Baa' face being shown three times in a row without any reason . Wives who were worried in the beginning of IPL that they may loose track of the story line after one month are least bothered about the story of the serials now. Though I can tell you nothing much would have changed in these stories. It might take an IPL of 80 teams and a league of 4 matches each to let the stories of these move ahead.

Well it has its effect. You can see groups in the office/work place/home being formed based on their teams. People calling others as DD member or DC or RR or CSK. Some of them have got this habit of sending message to others “DD or RR?? "...not even mentioning in the sms the obvious part of the question which team are you with. Some shouting (presumably singing) “dhol bajane aaye hum” or “korbo ladbo jeetbo re..” on any achievement or moment of success. People have already started enquiring about marriage organizers for arranging cheerleaders in baarat or ladies sangeet. A request for a dug out for barathis will not be totally unacceptable.

Research conferences arranging opening ceremony with a bollywood star/dancer/singer/ being arranged will not be totally out of place. After each presentation some dancers dancing and cheering the public scientists. Some of them might even go to SRK or PZ for funding their presentation to start a club culture promoting science. Each bidding for the best presenter and may be a prize money for a few billions for the coveted ones.

Welcome to the World After IPL.

Consciousness of an end

When you feel something truly
It too will feel your presence
The reciprocity of action has a revelation
Far beyond the worldly intelligence

You will feel the pain of a sacrificial lamb
If you dare to look into its vulnerable eyes
The moment of extinction is distinctly visible
As though it is conveying its cries

You will feel the pain of a withering flower
If you dare to look into its declining beauty
The moment of extinction is distinctly visible
As though it is conveying its cries

You will feel the pain of a dilapidated monument
If you dare to look into its crumbing walls
The moment of extinction is distinctly visible
As though it is conveying its cries

You will feel the pain of a shredded book
If you dare to look into its fading words
The moment of extinction is distinctly visible
As though it is conveying its cries

You will feel the emotion
Only if you care to reciprocate the pain
The origin of which lies in the victim’s eyes
The eyes which may not be distinct like ours
But its perception goes far beneath

Awareness of existence,
Consciousness of an end
Are considered to be human emotion
But I believe in consciousness of the whole
Which encompasses all that has life, lifeless and beyond